Archive for May, 2005

Half a Lifetime in Christ

May 13, 2005

I can’t believe it’s been 15 years. It was a decade and a half ago today that God woke me up from my spiritual slumber. May 12 for me always ushers in a sea of gratitude to God for shaking me up in the midst of my teenage self-centeredness. If no other day brings this sense, today always does for me. I wake up and take a deep breath and think: The Lord is still with me. That life is still here.

Nothing else I’ve ever done has lasted so long. Nothing else I do has such sticking power. I remember like it was yesterday when I stepped into the shower on the morning of May 13 and I said to myself, “I wonder how long this resolution will last.” I was sure that this would be some sort of self-improvement phase which would wane with the end of the next week. Yet here I am, 15 years later, still trusting Him, still leaning on His words as never before. In fact, my life is more built upon complete trust in Him now than it ever could have been for a 15 year old kid. Every year the stakes get higher and I come to depend on His provision more and more.

The funny thing is, in a lot of ways I’m not all that different from that 15 year old kid. I’ve still got the same weaknesses (covered a little better now), plus sometimes I am convinced that I’ve added some new ones. I admit that sometimes this situation discourages me. But then I remember what I’ve known for some time: that this life is not about me. This life is ultimately about God getting what He is after, and my self-improvement is not the chief end of this process. Sure, some things are changed in me. But that’s not what it’s about. If you’re interested, you can check out this article to see what I’m talking about.

In the meantime, the Lord hasn’t let go of me after all this time. And I trust He will be faithful to complete what He’s begun in this little life. Thank You, Lord.